Boek Traumasexuality

ISBN 9789463012263


296 pagina’s

twee kleuren druk

verkoopprijs € 36,00

taal engels

Peter John Schouten


men abused as boys
men between victim and perpetrator

Traumasexuality concerns the lives of men who were sexually abused as boys. Everyone finds sexual abuse very upsetting. However, if you ask the question what makes it so bad, very few people can say anything sensible about it. Once you have read this book, you will be an expert in this subject. You will acquire new insights and have a precise vocabulary for naming the details.

In these times everyone knows you can contract lung cancer from smoking. But in the past, we did not know that, and smoking was cool. My intention, through this book, is that everyone learns that you suffer mental paralysis as a result of sexual abuse.

The terms traumasexuality and mental paralysis provide a new perspective on the damage caused by sexual abuse. Men who have been sexually abused, only see when they reflect on their lives how the abuse has determined every facet of it. This book provides a detailed answer to what happens to a boy at the moment he is sexually abused by an adult. In just a matter of seconds he is dealt a whole range of shocks.

Read about the influence that this moment has on the rest of their lives. How the sexual imprint of the perpetrator can be seen in Traumasexuality and the paralytic power of the perpetrator in the Mental Paralysis. As a partner, you sometimes do not realise that with a sexually abused man you have entered a triangular relationship with him and his perpetrator. You can do a lot as a partner. But read here what you must avoid doing.

Processing sexual abuse is possible. This is hopeful, but it demands a lot of work. The entire process is explained here with all the obstacles you may encounter. You have to banish the perpetrator’s control, otherwise you will carry a trauma with you your entire life that is sexually attractive.

Traumasexuality is a must-read, because it provides an exceptional perspective on the inner damage that sexual abuse inflicts on boys. This book will take you to a world you do not know and one you really do not want to venture into.

What makes this book so extraordinary is that the accounts and descriptions in the book have not just originated from psychotherapeutic practice conversations with men but most especially from psychodrama sessions. In a psychodrama session the client’s inner world is put on stage. The motivation for the behaviour is exposed and the deeper subconscious layers that are connected with this are revealed.

Feelings frozen in, for example, powerlessness, disgust and desire are shown in context. During this, the perpetrator always makes his entrance. He has apparently, without the man being aware of it, always steered the motivation for feelings and actions. The absent witness for the abuse, who can still appear in the scene, initiates the healing process.

Peter John Schouten (Sydney, 1953) is a Psychodrama Therapist and a Psychotherapist (European Registered). He has worked for thirty years as a counsellor with the target group men sexually abused as boys, in individual sessions, group therapy and workshops.

His own sexual abuse at a very early age and the enormous amount of information from all the men who shared their accounts in his practice have resulted in in–depth knowledge and many new insights into the sexual abuse of boys.

With this book he introduces new boundaries and terms that could result in the earlier recognition of sexual abuse in boys and men. A sensible approach, recognition of the damage and expert help for this target group would benefit society as a whole.


Harry’s review of this book  on

The lifelong effects of sexual abuse on children are poorly understood, both among the general population and even among most psychiatrists and psychotherapists. And even though the effects of sexual abuse and predation are devastating to male victims, very little has been written on this subject.

I found my own awareness on the subject deepened in many ways after reading this new book from Netherlands author and therapist Peter John Schouten. Written in a sometimes formal and sometimes more conversational manner, he describes how the first second of abuse leads to a fragmentation, tearing the individual part and leading to a life dominated by mental paralysis, confusion, dissociation and traumasexuality. To go on living amidst this broken-ness, addiction becomes the norm and is very difficult to interrupt. For survivors, 12 step groups are certainly not enough.

Many victims of sexual abuse, of all genders and sexualities, admit that although they come to more peace in therapy, the deeper effects of trauma on their sexuality are not addressed. Traumasexuality gives a name to the driven-ness and sometimes alien feel to the sexuality of both men and women abused (or even overwhelmed by inappropriate sexual exposure and lack of boundaries) as children, where powerlessness is eroticized and disconnected from cognitive processes.

An important point that the author makes is that sex between adults is private, whereas sex between adults and children is a matter that must concern us all. It damages the lives of not just survivors, but of their partners and families. It is not meant to be hidden, or dissociated or left to experts. It concerns each and every one of us, as a moral and societal issue. It cannot be punished away by violence and polemics – the wounds of all need to be addressed.

After reading this book, I feel I have added some important ideas to my knowledge of sexual trauma and post-traumatic sexualities. It is an important addition to our general understanding and trauma literature, and will hopefully be one of the many excellent publications in this field that will lead to continued improvements in accessibility to appropriate care for those historically consigned to live lives of misery, helplessness and despair following their childhood violations.

Vertaling Harry’s recensie van dit boek op

De levenslange effecten van seksueel misbruik op kinderen zijn slecht begrepen, zowel onder de algemene bevolking als zelfs onder de meeste psychiaters en psychotherapeuten. En hoewel de gevolgen van seksueel misbruik en predatie verwoestend zijn voor mannelijke slachtoffers, is er nog maar heel weinig geschreven over dit onderwerp.

Na het lezen van dit nieuwe boek van de Nederlandse auteur en therapeut Peter John Schouten merkte ik dat mijn eigen bewustzijn over het onderwerp op veel manieren verdiept was. Geschreven op een soms formele en soms meer gemoedelijke manier, beschrijft hij hoe de eerste seconde van misbruik leidt tot een fragmentatie, verscheuring van het individuele deel en leidend tot een leven dat wordt gedomineerd door mentale verlamming, verwarring, dissociatie en traumaseksualiteit. Om te midden van deze gebrokenheid te blijven leven, wordt verslaving de norm en is heel moeilijk te onderbreken. Voor overlevenden zijn 12 stapgroepen zeker niet genoeg.

Veel slachtoffers van seksueel misbruik, van alle geslachten en seksualiteiten, geven toe dat hoewel ze in therapie tot meer rust komen, de diepere effecten van trauma op hun seksualiteit niet worden aangepakt. Traumaseksualiteit geeft een naam aan de gedrevenheid en soms vreemd gevoel van de seksualiteit van zowel mannen als vrouwen die als kind werden misbruikt (of zelfs overweldigd door ongepaste seksuele blootstelling en gebrek aan grenzen), waar machteloosheid wordt geërotiseerd en losgekoppeld van cognitieve processen.

Een belangrijk punt dat de auteur maakt, is dat seks tussen volwassenen privé is, terwijl seks tussen volwassenen en kinderen een zaak is die ons allemaal moet aangaan. Het schaadt niet alleen de levens van overlevenden, maar ook van hun partners en families. Het is niet bedoeld om te worden verborgen, of te worden gedissocieerd of aan experts overgelaten. Het gaat ons allemaal aan, als een morele en maatschappelijke kwestie. Het kan niet worden afgestraft met geweld en polemiek – de wonden van iedereen moeten worden aangepakt.

Na het lezen van dit boek heb ik het gevoel dat ik een aantal belangrijke ideeën heb toegevoegd aan mijn kennis van seksueel trauma en posttraumatische seksualiteit. Het is een belangrijke aanvulling op ons algemene begrip en de literatuur over trauma’s, en hopelijk zal het een van de vele uitstekende publicaties op dit gebied zijn die zal leiden tot voortdurende verbeteringen in de toegankelijkheid van passende zorg voor degenen die van oudsher zijn aangewezen op een leven van ellende, hulpeloosheid en wanhoop. na hun kindermishandeling.

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